Weekly Update

Hello All,

I'm a blogger now. Congratulations to me.

I won't bore you with a lot expository stuff, but I'll mention that I'm a 40 year old, single guy living on the Upper East Side. I’ve decided that instead of paying a $40 a week co-pay at a shrink’s office, I will air my grievances here. Will I say everything here that I would to him? Maybe eighty percent. Do I give a shit if nobody but my moron friends reads this? Not really. Will I ask another question and answer it myself? No.

I do actually want to address one of those questions however. When I said eighty percent, I didn’t mean that I’d only be eighty percent truthful. Everything you read will be true or the slightly embellished truth. And even though the title of this blog may imply the opposite, you won’t only read about stuff that pisses me (and probably you) off, but maybe a quasi-charming happenstance on a bus, a freaky event, or maybe even something that made me happy…those, of course will be far less frequent.

Sometimes I might sound crass, narrow-minded, or bigoted. If this is offensive to you, you are more than welcome to immediately get the fuck out. I won’t be making a conscious effort to be politically incorrect just for the sake of it, but sometimes, it’s how I honestly feel. Again, feel free to click the fuck out. Or better yet, let me know why you clicked the fuck out before you click the fuck out. That’s how we all can get some good dialogue going.

Also, please don’t be misled that this is a political forum. There are plenty of those around from what I hear. I will have some guest columnists pop in from time to time who a lot more about that shit than I do. We’ll also have some food, sports and movie talk. All we need is the obligatory serious story and some very soft core, non-jerkoffable pictures of TV starlets and we’ll have Maxim. Is that magazine still around? Anyway, I promise to poke around and rip off good concepts from stuff I see on other blogs, i.e. links to stuff I'm talking about, pictures and poll questions. Suggestions are welcome.

I won't make rule about it, but let's keep the :)'s and the LOL's, etc, to an absolute minimum. I realize the smiley face is necessary because of its statement softening properties and the LOL really lets every know you think something is funny, but do me a favor and save that shit for your IM's to Krissy75.

There really is nobody in my life with that screen name, but we all have our Krissy75s. She's the girl who looks really good in three photos, but not as good in the fourth, the girl with whom you've been corresponding for two weeks, but always seems to be busy when you suggest a meeting, and the girl to whom you feel you've invested enough time to at least get the opportunity to fuck.

We all know the freaking dance...the initial email, followed by the photo exchange, the IMing sessions (if photo exchange is mutually acceptable), followed by the phone call (big step), and finally the Meet-Up (which always starts with the immediate and most-of-the-time disappointing mental comparison with her picture and ends with me spending another $75).
True, non-embellished story - the other day I went through my wallet and there was receipt for $73.19 and another for $73.17 - two different girls and two different restaurants. Anyone who has any first, second or third date restaurants suggestions, by all means...dating stories too, of course

Speaking of restaurants, three of us (all guys) went to Mustang's on 85th and Second last Sunday afternoon and sat outside. First and foremost, the food was horrendous, almost inedible. It's a strange phenomenon because the food really sucked when it first opened, got a lot better when they hired a new chef a few years ago, but now it's worse than ever. It's almost like they had a meeting and decided that it would be better to go back to the old policy of bad food. "Anybody have Jorge's cell number. Let's get him back here."

But another thing that diminished our dining experience even further was that we had one of these hotshot waitresses who didn't write anything down. I mean, what's the benefit of this? It's not like it's going to impress any of us enough to increase her tip. The risk/reward for her doesn't add up and if you don't write it down, you better get it exactly right.

Anyway, one of us (not me) suggested, in a perfectly courteous manner, that she might want to write it down. Even though one of us (not me again) couldn't decide what to get and then ordered a lot of stuff which all needed to be cooked a certain way, she said she got it all. The order, of course, was completely fucked up.

In the end, it really didn't matter because anything they would have brought out would have sucked anyway. Forty bucks each for a funky-ass mushroom quesadilla and a couple of frozen Margaritas. As my father would say (I will quote him often) "Fake food, real money." The girl was sort of cute, so of course we didn't really ding her on the tip. Just another example of why it's good to be a cute girl. But I can say that Mustangs really pissed me off in New York City this week.

That new show on Showtime which comes on after Weeds, called Californication, is very good (link to trailer at the top of this page) . I was never an X-files fan, but David Duchovny is a pretty good actor. He's plays a sex addict and writer, pretty much in that order. Lotsa hot chicks who are naked more often than not and good dialogue, which is a good combination for me. Oh and Weeds is, and always has been, a great show. Weed is good too.